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Chapter 4
Well, as it turns out, we did not have long to wait to find out just how bad James” dad was, because shortly after dinner on the very same day that we had the interaction with James and his mother, we had a knock at the door, and when we answered it, wearing our robes of course, it was to find a soft spoken, meek little man there. He explained to us who he is, James” father, though he never gave his name.
“I”m so sorry my wife and son did that to you today. My wife forced me to come here and tell you that we”re pressing charges. Personally I think you should be pressing charges against them both. She”s a raving lunatic, and James is taking after her. But then, I don”t think he truly is, I think he”s hiding behind being a bully to cover his insecurities about who and what he is.”
“And what”s that Sir?” Tavin asked.
“I think you have the one thing he wants above all else. His mother was horrible to him through potty training, and every morning he wakes up wet, which is damn near every morning, she”s every bit as bad. She force potty trained him shortly after he turned two, and no simply wasn”t an option. I also feel something in you that I”ve felt in him for while already too, and so, I think you two are more alike than you know.”
“Ah, so you think he”s gay too. Yes, my daddy knows, and he”s okay with it.”
“Thought as much.”
“You don”t seem anything like your wife, it sounds almost as if you hate her.” Tavin said simply, not asking him why he stays, but the implication was impossible to miss.
“I hate her fucking guts, sorry, I shouldn”t swear in front of a child, but I can”t stand her.”
“It”s okay, I say fuck all the time, Daddy doesn”t mind.”
“Yeah, I don”t either.”
“So, why bother staying?”
“Mostly for James, but the way he”s been acting, even towards me lately, makes me wonder why. He”s still worth saving though, but, if I leave, she wins, and James will either turn out like her, or die. If and when he ever admits to himself who and what he is, what he needs and wants, she”s not gonna take it well, and he”ll either finally grow up or he”ll die so totally inside that he probably won”t survive. I don”t wanna lose him, but I”m afraid he”s already lost himself, and I”m not strong enough to save him. I”m not with my wife willingly, she holds my key as it were, she”s controlling to the extreme, more than that you really don”t needta know, and truthfully, I”m not strong enough to say it.”
“Then you both need out. I think you also want diapers, probably need them as much as James does, so, I”ll give you both more than enough to get started. How you escape, I don”t know, but you need to, then you haveta be forceful with James, if he needs a slap across the face, or a good spanking, and then serious hugs and kisses afterwards to help him, then give him what he needs. Be the man he needs you to be, and then baby each other like you both need even more.” Tavin said, and before he could say anything further, Tavin hopped up and went and grabbed a pretty large bag full of supplies.
“While Tavin”s gone, because he definitely won”t wanna hear this, as soon as you have James diapered, I want you to email me to arrange a day for him to come over, he”s gonna need it. I”m not sure Tavin has it in him to bury the hatchet as it were and forgive him, he”s so loving it”s almost a fault, but your James is probably the only person he cannot stand, at all, it damn near borders on hatred, even though he won”t hate anyone, no matter what they do.” I said, and then passed him my card.
“I”d like that, and yeah, I agree, he needs it.”
“Good. As for you, Tavin”s right, you need out every bit as much as James clearly does, I think you definitely needta see a shrink, and a lawyer. I don”t want or needta know why it is you stay, but Tavin was also right, James needs you to be a man, the dad he deserves, to save him. I saw his looks today, they were pure hatred, but hearing it from you this evening, I”m no longer convinced that that hatred was actually directed at Tavin, I think maybe he hates himself far more. It”s gonna hurt, both of you, I think we can both agree with that, it might be hard to do, but, it truly is what you both need.”
“I know. I was raised by a ruthless, heartless bitch, then I end up roped into marrying one as well, but I”m a supreme wuss, I have no back bone, it was literally whipped outta me, but, I do have one thing to live for, even if he”ll barely look at me, and I finally needta be the man he”s needed me to be for a long time, and so, I will. I have a feeling that his little bum will be pretty sore by the time I”m done with him.” He smiled sadly, knowing what he has to do, but wondering if he actually has the strength to do it.
I hope he does have the strength needed. Before I could say anything further, Tavin entered, carrying a cloth grocery bag, that looks to be stuffed full. He passed it over to James” dad.
“I think you”ll both enjoy everything in here, and once you have James somewhat normal, tell him from me, for what it”s worth, I wish we coulda been friends instead, but he”s just hurt me too much for that.” And then he walked away.
“And that, there, I”m afraid to say, is about the closest that he”ll likely come to apologizing for what he said and did today.” I laughed.
“He seems shockingly bright.”
“You have no idea. He just, and I mean just barely, started doing home schooling, he”s sick of the constant teasing, and he just finished grade one, same as James would”ve. So, yeah, he should be doing grade two, you”d think, right, but no, he”s already doing the grade four English and Math, and I think he”ll be ready for the grade five stuff by the end of summer, but by Christmas almost guaranteed.”
“Wow, poor kid.”
“The kids hadn”t realized that yet, just how bright he is, I knew, but they hadn”t started teasing him for that, but it would”ve come, sooner rather than later. By the way, his mother was just like yours was and your wife is, he”s adopted, and when she started talking to him like she did today, I thought for sure I was gonna haveta restrain him.”
“Wish you hadn”t. She”d totally be in jail now.”
“She was gonna grab him and probably smack him at one point, which was when I finally stepped in, he wouldn”t have appreciated me coming to the rescue any sooner, especially against another child. Has she ever smacked you or James, would she”ve smacked Tavin?”
“Yes, to all. Thankfully she”s never been fully abusive to James like she has been to me, and my mother was to me, even pitiful little me would”ve done something. I probably woulda died, but at least I would”ve tried.”
“You definitely needta see a shrink.”
“Yeah, I know, I shoulda seen one for years now, but, there”s no way my wife woulda let me, she”d know of all my problems, she”s my largest one.”
“Honestly, I doubt she”s bright enough to connect those dots.” I said.
“You might be right. Well, I should probably go. Thanks, I think.” He said, and then headed out.
As soon as he was gone, I went to find Tavin, and found him hugging the toilet, crying. I went and sat on the floor behind him, and rubbed his back and neck, played with his hair, and waited for him to fully calm down. As soon as he did, he turned and hugged me tight. As he did so, I saw into the toilet, and thankfully saw no puke. I held him for several minutes.
“You swore you”d never hate anyone, but you dislike James so much, that it borders on hatred, and thinking about it made you feel sick to the stomach, didn”t it?” I finally whispered to him.
“Yeah. I hope his dad”s able to help him, but I hope even more that I never haveta see him ever again.”
“I know Baby. I”m glad you cried it all out though, let that anger, pain, and even hatred leave you, you don”t need it any more. I see you didn”t actually throw up, so that”s good.”
“No, just really felt like I was gonna. Glad I didn”t though, it”s just so fucking gross.”
“Tell me about it.” I laughed, and gave Tavin one final hug, and then stood up and set him on his feet. I patted his cute little soggy baby bum, and then led him out.
It was almost a week later that I finally received an email, from James” dad, saying that he would like to bring James by for the day as I suggested. I answered back instantly, but asked the question that I actually wanted to know.
Of course, bring him by any time tomorrow after 7am, he can spend the whole day. You don”t have to answer if you really don”t want to, but, how did it go, how did you get James out?
He responded back not even twenty minutes later.
Thanks, I”ll probably have him there for about 8 then. I decided when I left your place that day, to call the police, and had an officer meet me at the park up the road. I told him everything, even showed him the bruising from the last beating, he took pictures and my whole statement, and then followed me home. When my wife came to ask me how it went, she actually had no clue why there was police there, when she honestly thinks she did nothing wrong, and so, I happily explained it to her, how I”m divorcing her, and that I”m charging her with mental and physical abuse. I even said that if James wishes to do so as well, then his charges will also be added. She started yelling at me, and tried to attack me, but the officer restrained her, cuffed her, and then took her away. I feel strangely free. As soon as they were gone, I went and found James, asked him how he feels about me having his mother arrested, and he told me I”m a weak, bitter little man. I told him that he”s wrong, I”m not bitter, but that I”m also no longer putting up with that shit, including from him. He tried back talking me, and I slapped his mouth, not hard, but more than enough that it shocked him. I told him how he”s been a foul little bully, how mean and cruel he”s been, and with the boy that he bullied, we came up with a punishment that is suitable for what he did. I”d taken the diapers from the bag your son gave me, had them in another bag, and that”s what I took to James” room with me, and so, I handed him the bag, and that”s when he started screaming at me. I may be small and weak, but he”s still only seven, sure, he”s a tough kid, but still, he stood no chance as I bent him over my knee as I sat on the bed, and I gave him the spanking that he”s needed for a long time. Once he finally stopped screaming at me, and just broke down, I stopped, and then pulled him to me and held him, for a long time, without even saying anything. I told him I”m sorry that I was too weak to be there to protect him as much as I should”ve while he was growing up, but that I”m here now, and we”re gonna make it together, and that now I want to lay him down and diaper him like I know he wants, needs, and deserves. He just whimpered, but didn”t fight me as I laid him down, stripped him, and diapered him up. Then I held him and hugged him for a long time after, and we actually talked a lot. When it was time for bed, I actually went and put on one of the diapers your son gave me as well, and I”ll be damned, it was every bit as wonderful as I hoped it”d be, and I haven”t been out of them since. James has now finally admitted that he”s a diaper lover, and as soon as he did that, I stripped down and showed him that I am as well, I didn”t let him see that until he came to terms with himself. We”ve had a rough week, though, there”ve been a lot of tears, and not all just from him, but, we”re doing okay, with thanks to you and your son. So, I”ll see you in the morning.
Well, I am glad that that went so well. I responded:
I”m happy for you both, even though I know that tough is probably hardly touching on how this week has went, but it was good for you both, and you finally have what you need, and that”s each other. The diapers are just a great bonus. I”ll see you tomorrow morning.
He did not reply, but I did not expect him to, and Tavin and I had a good day together. As usual, Tavin and I have at least one really good soggy baby bum change per day, and this day was no different, we kissed, stroked, came, and kissed some more, sharing the wealth, for three baby boygasms, before changing each other.
“Baby, this morning, someone”s coming to deliver something, it”s a bit of a surprise, so, just stay out here when you hear the door bell, and no peeking, okay.”
“Okay Daddy, do I needta put my robe on?”
“No, no one can see you here from the front door anyway, so all”s good.”
“Okay.”
I still find it amazing, that Tavin will not pester me for details when I tell him of a surprise. I know most kids are insanely curious, and cannot stand the thought of a surprise, but not Tavin, it never bothers him at all, but then, he is incredibly patient as well, something that I also know kids rarely are, and half the adults barely are.
It was just a few minutes after eight, when the door bell rang, so, I headed out there, reminding Tavin not to peek. I threw on my robe, and headed to the door, and when I opened it, I found James and his father there. James blushed instantly when he saw me, but, when I looked down, I can see just how wondrously diapered he is, and it looks good on him. He is already a pretty striking young man, far larger than my Tiny Little Tavin, standing nearly fifteen or maybe even twenty centimeters taller than Tavin, but he is also a much larger build, though, like Tavin, he is very trim and fit, with just a tiny bit of baby fat still on him, though Tavin actually has none left at all, but then, he hardly had any when he came into my life. James has brown hair with naturally golden streaks in it, that he keeps short and neat, he has deep brown eyes and pouty little lips, and he has a cute little nose with just a dusting of freckles on it. He is cute, to be sure, but he looks so sad and angry, he needs to learn how to smile.
“Good morning.” I said happily.
“Good morning. Just so you know, James really doesn”t wanna be here, he knows how Tavin feels about him, and really, I doubt even he can blame Tavin for that, but, like I said, the two of them truly do needta do this. Here”s my number, in case you need me to pick him up early, but, when should I pick him up?”
“It”s understandable James, and Tavin has zero interest in ever seeing you again either, but, you both needta do this. As for when to pick him up, after dinner, we typically eat at about six or so, so let”s say between seven and eight.”
“Excellent, see you then, and if you feel it”s necessary, you do have my permission to give lara türbanlı escort James a spanking.”
“Thanks.” I said, so that James knows to stay in line, but knowing that I would never actually do so, ever.
“James, I want you to behave, and try and be the good person I know you can be, we”re working on it, but you have a long hard uphill battle, and I think Tavin can help you.”
James said nothing to this, but I can see that he is crying. I rested my hand on his shoulder, and he flinched, hard. His dad saw the reaction as well.
“You”re safe here James, remember, Tavin knows what you”re going through, you need and deserve this, I already told you that there”s to be no fighting this, that I will take off that soggy baby diaper of yours and spank you, right in front of Tavin, which, honestly, he should see anyway, I”m sorry, I haveta be strong enough to do this for you, even though it hurts me to hurt you like this, but it”s what we both needta do, we both may be baby boy diaper lovers, but we also needta be men. Now, gimme a hug and kiss, and I”ll see you this evening.”
James hugged his dad, and I clearly heard him pitifully whimper, “please don”t make me do this.” in his dads ear. His dad just held him tighter and whispered to him, saying, “I”m doing this for both of you, and it”ll do you both good.” He stood up, and even he wiped tears from his eyes, gave James one final kiss goodbye, and then turned and walked away without saying anything further. I stayed with James, watching as his dad pulled away. As soon as he was gone, I closed the door. I looked to James and can see the tears spilling down, and so, I bent down in front of him, opened my arms, and without prompting, he came in for a hug. I picked James up, wow, he is nearly twice as heavy as Tavin is, he is one solid little boy. I cradled his cute little baby diapered bum, and held him. I did not say anything until I felt him finally relax a little.
“I know you”re scared, you wanted to see Tavin every bit as much as he wants to see you, which is of course to say absolutely none at all, you know that today will be a hard day, but you do needta do this to start your healing process, though you”ve already started, considering this nice soggy baby diaper I feel under your pants. I”ll be right with you the entire time, he won”t hurt you, at least physically, but even I have no idea what he”s gonna say, and while he”s trying so hard not to hate you, he may say some very hurtful things to you. As much as you know you deserve it, you”re scared, and that”s understandable, but, like your dad told you, I too think you two can help each other out, a lot. Now, I”m gonna set you back down, and then strip you down to just this wonderfully soggy baby diaper. After I strip you, I”m gonna take my robe off, so that we getta both just be in our super soggy baby diapers. It felt like you haven”t had a soggy baby bum change yet, and neither have Tavin and I, I hoped you”d come here nice and soggy, because I do have plans for you.”
“Please don”t.” He whispered fearfully.
“Sorry James, I”m gonna be very firm with you, you”re gonna let me do it, and you”re not gonna fight me on it, this is what you need, all three of us here are baby boy diaper lovers, Tavin and I both haveta wear “em, and it sounds like you do too at night, so, stand still like a good baby boy, and let me strip you, okay.” I know it sounds mean, he is so scared, but, he needs a firm, yet gentle and loving approach.
He just stood there with silent tears streaking down as I stripped James until he is standing before me in only his soggy night diaper. He looks good. As soon as James was naked other than his diaper, I stripped off my robe, so that he can see me like this as well, and then I picked him up once again, and held and hugged him tight.
As I held him, I whispered to him, “There you go Baby, now you”re just like Tavin and I, we never wear clothes in the house, just our wondrously thick and soggy baby diapers. I know you can”t say it yet, maybe not for a while, but I know you”re a full on baby boy diaper lover, but to me that”s the best thing you can be. Now, I”m gonna set you down and I”ll take your little hand in mine, and lead you to where Tavin is, please don”t make me carry you, it”ll be better if you can be a man about it, and take what”s about to happen with your head held high.”
He nodded almost imperceptibly, and so, I set him down, and then took his little hand in mine, and led him to the deck. As soon as we walked through, Tavin turned to see what the surprise was, and his face fell, went ash white, and I saw him start shaking.
“What the fuck are you doing here. You think you can just walk in here, wearing a diaper, and that it”d make what you did to me all better. Well, it can”t, go home, I never wanna see you again.” He said rather strongly, staring daggers at James.
“I don”t wanna be here either. I”m being forced to be here, I never wanted to see you again, I know you hate me, but, I hate myself way more. I told you how ashamed you should be, and how you should just jump in the river, but it”s me that wanted to do so.” He said, and then burst into tears.
Tavin was shocked, I picked James up again, and held him while he cried even more. As soon as James stopped crying, I set him down, so that he is facing Tavin.
“Tavin, I know I can never fix what I did to you, not only was I stupidly mean to you, but I made all the other kids hate you too, even though you didn”t deserve it. I did. You can hate me as much as you want, tell me how bad I am, tell me that I should be ashamed to wear diapers and to go jump in the river like I really wanna, but you can”t possibly hate me as much as I hate myself.” He said, with almost no emotion. Wow, poor little guy, he is so suicidal and sad, and only seven, his mother was worse to him than even Tavin”s was to him.
“I don”t hate you, I hate no one, you”ve given me way more hatred than anyone else, but I can”t give it back. When I do, it makes me sick. Do you really think jumping in the river, dying, changes or fixes anything, though, because it doesn”t. My mother hoped I”d jump in the river, or fall in, maybe she was working up the courage to just push me in, I don”t know, and I even thought about it for a few minutes, but I couldn”t even hate her for doing it, it just made me so sad that she hated me so. I just want friends, I just want people to like me, but no one looks past me being a baby. I don”t hate you, but I don”t like you either.”
“Jumping in the river fixes everything. You no longer haveta worry about me.”
“I don”t anyway, I”m not going back to school, I”m so fucking sick of all the teasing and bullying, so I do school at home now, in fact that”s what I was doing when you came. How do you think your dying would make your daddy feel”
James looked to me in shock when Tavin swore so openly, I just smiled.
“I don”t know, he should hate me for being what I am, and how I”ve treated him too.”
“But he doesn”t, he loves you very much, he was too weak to protect you before, but now he”s found his strength, and that”s you. If you die, so does he, do you really want your daddy to die?”
“No, he wouldn”t do that.”
“Yes, he would. He”s had only one thing in this world to live for, if you think your mother was hard on you, it was nothing compared to him, and that one thing was you. I mean, I don”t get it, I”d have shipped you off to a boarding school in Siberia, but for some stupid reason, he loves you.”
“I suppose I deserve that.”
“Oh, you deserve far more than even I can say to you.”
“I know. Can I go home now please?” James asked me.
“No. You”re here for the day, you two needta do this.”
“You arranged this?” Tavin asked me icily.
“Yes, and don”t you be getting cold with me, I did this for a reason, we both know it, and once you calm down and start looking at the situation with the calm reasoning I know you usually do for everything, you”ll see why, and understand as well. Now, we all need super soggy baby bum changes, and I think James deserves to find out just how good being a baby boy diaper lover can be, so, come on Babies, let”s go get soggy baby bum changes.”
“Sorry Daddy.” He said softly, looking a little ashamed at snapping at me.
“It”s okay, I understand, truly I do. Even James understands and accepts all the anger you”re directing at him, he even deserves it, but I don”t. Yes, I arranged all this, because you both have a lot of healing that you needta do, only the type of healing that you can do together. James hurt you, but he was hurting himself easily twice as much as he ever hurt you. No, you don”t haveta be friends, but you do needta bury the hatchet, and no, you are not allowed to bury a hatchet in his forehead, that is absolutely unacceptable behavior.”
“Damn, almost ran to get one, not even sure we have one though.” He giggled.
“Probably for the best we don”t.” I said.
“Wish you did.” James said.
“That”s enough talk of dying James.” I said. “Dying doesn”t fix anything, it”s a permanent solution for what amounts to only a temporary situation. No, you had nothing to live for before, but now you do, you and your loving daddy needta work together and find your lives, you”ve already started, and today will help.”
“Fine.” He whispered.
“Now, let”s go get soggy baby bum changes.” I said, and grabbed both boys” hands and led them to our bedroom.
I laid both baby boys on the bed, side by side, and started with James after telling both boys to close their eyes and enjoy. I spent a long time cleaning, lotioning, and creaming him up, and shockingly enough, James never once got even just a little hard. He did sigh deeply as I slipped my middle finger inside him and lotioned him really well though, which, again shocks me that he did not get at all hard. Poor little guy, cannot even enjoy that. I then proceed to quadruple baby diapering him, and then I taped it on him real well. When it was Tavin”s turn, even he was not hard, at least when I started, which tells me just how much turmoil his poor little mind was still in, but by the time I got my finger inside him to lotion him, he was stone hard, as he usually is, and was cumming just as I finished creaming him up. I then taped him into his well deserved quadruple thick baby diaper, and taped it on extra well. This is not the first time I have slipped my finger into Tavin, we had started doing so to each other already, but this is the first time I have slipped my largest finger into him, and since James is larger in almost all ways, it did not shock me how easily he took it himself, and how much he sighed from it, which tells me how much he needs it, even if he has no idea what he needs.
“There you go, you beautiful baby boys. Now, outta the way, so that I can lay down, and you two can change me. No playing though Tavin.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, James isn”t ready for that yet.” I said, and if James knew what that meant, he never showed it, but then, he might not understand it at all as well.
The boys did get out of the way, and I traded places with them, and they both worked well to clean, lotion, and cream me up, and I purposefully ensured that I stayed soft the entire time, though as they each slipped a finger inside me to lotion and cream me, I very easily could have, and it took massive amounts of concentration not to do so. They then pulled up and taped on very well my quadruple thick baby diaper as well.
“Thanks Babies, that was very nice. So, how do you like it James?”
“It feels good, but, I”m not a baby.”
“Just like I”m not a baby, just like you constantly and ceaselessly called me?” Tavin asked icily.
“Fair enough, I guess I”m a baby.” He said, sniffling.
“If you wear diapers, you must be a baby, remember, well, you”re really fucking thickly diapered, so you must be every bit as big a baby as we are.”
“Yeah, I guess so, because this is pretty nice.” He said, with only the tiniest amount of a smile showing.
“It is, and you should try and smile more James, you almost looked nice when you almost smiled. That miserable looking scowl on your handsome young face truly doesn”t suit you.” I said softly.
“Never have anything to smile about, so why bother. Nothing is ever good anyway.”
“If you don”t try and make your own good, and or find your own good, and soon, you never will, and you”ll forever be miserable. You haven”t admitted that you”re a full on baby boy diaper lover, yet it truly is who and what you are, and you know it already, don”t you, yet you still can”t. In front of us, as strong and forceful as you can be, tell us who and what you are.”
“Please don”t make me do that, I”m not strong enough.”
“I know. You needta do it though. Whisper it first if you haveta, we can work up to it gently.”
And so, he whispered it. I told him to say it again, just a little louder, and he did. We did this easily ten more times, when all of a sudden, he said it, and he meant it.
“There you go Baby, now you found your good, your happy, just like Tavin and I did, so have you. I don”t know if Tavin was a full on baby boy diaper lover when he moved in, but it came fast and easy for him, but then, he did know he absolutely needed them. I, however, was older than you are when I hadta admit it.”
“Thanks. Tavin”s not your son?”
“He is, but he”s adopted.” I said, and then told him the story of how Tavin came to be my son.
“Wow, that”s bad.”
“Yeah, my mom was kinda a bitch, but, I think yours was actually worse. Mind you, maybe mine woulda been the same, thankfully I didn”t haveta find out.”
“Yeah. How did you admit that you”re a diaper lover?” James asked me.
“I was ten, I was a constant and ceaseless pants and bed wetter, my dad was mentally, verbally, and physically abusive, a horrific drunk, and nothing I ever did was good enough. I was great in school, I never got anything less than ninety eight percent, I had glowing remarks from every teacher, but still, it was never good enough. Oh, and my dad flaunted my pants and bed wetting, he”d tell everyone, he”d yell out when I wet my pants, hey, look at the useless baby boy. I did try and commit suicide, I was standing on the bridge over the overpass, just waiting for a big truck to come by to jump in front of, but clearly someone grabbed me and pulled me off the rail, it was a police officer. I was just about lara ucuz escort ten. I was taken to the hospital, they had the shrink come and talk to me, he found out everything, and my dad was jailed. I was given to someone who was related to me somehow, moms cousin or uncle or something, can”t remember, and he raised me properly, but he died when I was twenty three. He took me to all sortsa doctors to find out what was wrong, why I had no control whatsoever, and they found out that there”s just something plain missing from my brain, and as such, I don”t know when I”m peeing, I simply don”t feel it at all. For a long time, I resented the diapers, I was made to feel like being a baby was the most horrible thing on the planet, and now, here I am, wearing what only a baby wears. I was still seeing the shrink, at least once a week, because I still needed him, a lot, and eventually I learned to like, and finally to love the diapers, but it scared me, and so, he helped me with that as well. Finally I fell in love with the diapers and myself, I found my happy, and so too shall you. I did actually have a friend though, one who loved diapers every bit as much as I do now, but he had zero need of them at all, and he diapered me up as often as he could because he knew my problems and truthfully he loved seeing me in diapers. Even though I liked how he made me feel about them and all, it was never as good for me until I finally got to admit that I really was a diaper lover as well.”
“Oh. So you lived with the same things, but for way longer.”
“Oh yeah, and whereas it sounds as if your mother never truly physically abused you, my father most assuredly did to me. There were days, sometimes even weeks, that I couldn”t sit down without excruciating pain, but I learned to live with it, and I doubt that anyone ever truly knew anything. I was always covered in bruises though, but he was always careful to never hit my face, lest a bruise show up and alert someone. My friend always knew, he always saw them, and I made him swear not to tell anyone, that my dad promised to kill me if I ever told. He”d been in somewhat the same situation, so, we really were each others only friends, we shared so many things in common, it was gross.”
“Wow. She didn”t mind slapping me around if I got really useless, or when I peed my bed so much it was dripping onto the floor. You have any idea how much I wanted Tavin”s diapers, so that I could get a good sleep, and maybe, just maybe not get beaten nearly every morning.”
“I can assure you, I have a very good idea.” I said.
Tavin added, “What”s funny, you really needed diapers, and took the frustration of your mother being an abusive bitch and not getting diapers out on the one person who maybe could”ve gotten you the diapers you needed. Had you”ve told me, all the way back in kindergarten, I would”ve given you all the diapers you wanted, and maybe you could”ve never done what you did. I could”ve maybe had even just one fucking friend, which was all I ever wanted. Instead, you treated me like a piece of shit stuck to your shoe, you were a raging abusive asshole to me, every bit as much as your mother was a raging abusive bitch to you. Why, what could”ve possibly possessed you to treat someone the exact same way you were being treated, and I assume hated every bit as much as I did?”
“I don”t know. I wish I did, I wish I could explain it to you and make what I did right, but I can”t.”
“I do know though.” I said. “Or, at least, some of it.”
“What?” They both asked.
“Some people, they take that abuse, they let it shape them the same way, while others, like me and you Tavin, and even James” dad, it drives all hatred from us, and makes us almost passive, or in in James” dads case, too weak to fight back, yet, trust me, like you experienced with James these past few days, certain things can set you off, and you either crash or you explode. I don”t know why some people go one way or the other, but that”s just the way it is. I suppose, it”s what you were taught, even though you hated it, it was all you knew.”
“I suppose you might be right. My daddy was never there to protect me, but he”s told me lots these past few days, and how sorry he is for that. He says he”s weak, well, as he was spanking my bum, he sure didn”t feel weak to me.”
“So, you got your baby bum spanked good?” Tavin asked.
“Oh yeah, never felt pain like that in my life, and he told me it was for my own good, that I needed it, because of the way I”ve treated him and you. I mean, my mom smacked me, hard, out of pure hatred and anger, my daddy said he was giving me the spanking I deserved, because he loves me and needs to set me straight.”
“Good, you needed it, and I damn near gave it to you myself.” Tavin said flatly.
“You probably should”ve.” James admitted.
“Yeah, but I woulda pulled your pants down and given you a bare bum spanking right in the middle of the school yard, with everyone watching.”
“That woulda been embarrassing.”
“Bare assed is right.” Tavin giggled.
“Yeah.” James said.
“Okay you two, I want you to go out on the deck and play with Lego for a while. I want you to leave the door open, so that I can hear if anything goes wrong, and come and rescue James, but I want you two to talk, tell each other everything, but Tavin, try not to yell, okay, be calm, be reasonable, and try not to be mean. Again, James knows and understands how and why you feel for him what you do, but remember what that hatred and anger does to you, and think about what it”s clearly done to James, he”s hurting way more than you are. I want you both to drop all your barriers, I want you to open up to each other, and just talk.”
“Are you sure that”s a good idea Daddy? I mean, I”ve never wanted to hit someone as much as I”ve wanted to hit James, and I still feel like I could just jump on him and just start hitting him and trying to give him as much hurt as he gave me. I don”t know if I have the power to stop myself.”
“Yes, I”m sure. How does that make you feel James?”
“Honestly, I”d just lay down and take it, I know it”s what I deserve, even what I want, I”d just let him keep hitting me until the pain stopped.”
“I thought as much, but I want you to stop thinking like that please, it”s not good. As for you Tavin, just be calm, call me if you feel like you”re gonna lose control, and I”ll come give you hugs and kisses and bring you down. Now, outside with you two.”
“Oh, um, outside, in just a diaper, won”t people see us?”
“No, they can”t see you, and besides, you”ve already been out there, but even you”re too short for people to see over the railing what you”re wearing. People only just might be able to see me if I go out in just my diaper, which is why I take my robe, but as soon as I”m seated, no one could possibly see me, so I”m always in just my diaper out there as well, in fact, during spring and summer, and even part of fall, that”s where Tavin and I are almost all day, and in just our thick thirsty baby diapers is how we are as well. Now, out with you.”
Tavin led the way, and James followed him. I followed behind them, to make sure that they would behave, but I stayed away as well, so that they can talk. I am not trying to hear them, in fact I am going to try and stay away enough to not hear them, unless they get loud. I saw James go onto the deck, and really look around, and once he was actually satisfied that no one would see him, he went all the way out. Clearly he had not thought about it earlier, but then, he had had something of greater importance to be scared of, and so, that had not come up as a thought to him. He went right to the railing and looked out over our back yard, and down onto the river.
Our back yard is sloped down, it goes for roughly a hundred meters or so, dropping only about one and a half to two meters until the river, and then there is a pretty large drop to the river of another two to three meters, depending on the time of year, almost a cliff face, but the bank is all huge rocks. Honestly, even if we had regular glass on our railing, I doubt that unless someone was using binoculars that they would see us, but there is a campground on the other side of the river, so you just never know who might be watching. Our back yard is pretty nice though, but because I actually do not like grass, there is none of that. I have almost a hundred raised planters back there with gravel pathways leading in and around them all, some have flowers, some have fruits or vegetables, and all the trees going up each side of our property are fruit or nut trees. With the river right there, honestly, I almost never have to water anything, the soil is usually more than moist enough that it wicks up into my planters, but I do water them when needed, but also with river water, that I pump out with a windmill driven water pump, that gets stored in a small water tower. It is a really neat system actually.
For more than an hour, I sat in the living room just reading on my computer, while the boys built with the Lego, and I did not hear even so much as one word from either of them. I did get up and check, though, in case they were talking quietly, and not once did they ever say anything for the first hour. Finally I heard them start talking, but I am far enough away that I cannot hear them, unless they get loud, which is why I am where I am, but thankfully they did not, and for nearly two hours, I let them talk. It was getting close to lunch time, so, I went and made us some lunch, I made up two baby bottles each, and two large thermal mugs of tea each to go with it, and as soon as it is all done, I put on my robe, put all of it onto our kitchen cart, and wheel it out. I set the cart by the table, slipped off my robe, and sat down. It was funny, as soon as I came out, they stopped talking. I said nothing until I am seated.
“Well, you”re both still alive, and there”s no bloodshed apparent, so that”s good. As you can probably tell, I brought lunch and drinks. I”m sure you could both use both.” Neither said anything, but Tavin did nod about needing food and drink.
I passed out the food and drink, and James just stared at the baby bottles I had given him, and then to mine and Tavin”s as well. Mine are barnyard animals on one, and cute baby aliens on the other, Tavin”s has cute fire trucks and dalmatians on one, and cute cartoon babies on the other. James” has more barn yard animals on one, and spaceships on the other. I had given us all apple juice. Tavin and I both reached for our bottles first, and started sucking the first one dry, and only once we are both sucking ours, does James pick one up and start drinking from it as well. As soon as we were done our first bottle, we started eating our lunch, and sipping our tea. As soon as we were done eating, we all had our second baby bottle, and then sipped our tea more. We did not talk as we ate, which is rare for Tavin and I, but that is okay.
I cleaned up our mess, putting it all on the cart, leaving both baby boys their mugs of tea, since they both still likely have about the same one and a half left that I do, and I headed inside to leave them to their playing and talking. Again, for a while, they did not talk, but it was only about ten minutes later that I heard them start talking again.
I left the boys for a little more than an hour after I heard them start talking again, and when I no longer heard them talking, I headed back out to sit with them.
“So, still no blood, that”s good, and I can”t hear you talking any more. I hope you both got a lot off your chests?”
“Yeah. At least I don”t feel quite like burying a hatchet in James” forehead any more.” Tavin said.
“And I don”t feel quite like standing still and letting him do so either.” James added.
“Glad to hear that. I trust you each told each other a lot of how you tick, why you”ve done what you”ve done, even if maybe you don”t truly understand it all?”
“Yeah.” They both said.
“Would you say you finally understand James now Tavin?”
“Yeah. I wish we coulda been friends instead, I think I coulda really helped him a lot.”
“Same.” James said.
“That”s good. You look more calm and at peace now James, I trust you no longer feel quite like running down to the river and throwing yourself in?”
“No, but I”m still so scared.”
“I know, you”re gonna haveta live with that fear for a while still I”m afraid. Only time will heal that. Tavin”s forgiveness will help in that as well, but even though I doubt Tavin”s been able to say he forgives you yet, you can feel that he does already, I can see it in his eyes, he no longer has that hatred for you bubbling right underneath the surface, and I”m sure you can feel it too. He”s no longer talking icily to you, no longer saying mean things to you, is he, and you can feel that deep inside, he”s forgiven you, but, he”s much too stubborn to actually say it, at least yet, that too will take time. You also look far more sure of yourself, like you”re finally starting to understand who and what you are.”
“Yeah, I think you”re right. I wish things woulda happened better, I think I woulda really liked having Tavin as a friend. If you think I know I”m a good baby boy diaper lover, I think you”re right.”
“Good. Now, another thing that I think you”ve finally started to realize, something that”s been nagging you for a while already, a feeling that you”ve tried to deny. I see it, Tavin sees it, and even your daddy sees it, but I”m not entirely sure you do yet. I wanna try and get you to see it now as well, because I think you needta. I”m gonna ask you some questions, they may seem embarrassing, but I want you to have the strength to tell the truth, okay.”
“Um, okay.”
“First, have you ever dreamed of sucking another boys” peepee?”
He looked at me with wide fearful eyes, and started shaking his head no, but I knew that he was not answering me, it was more that he was begging me not to ask that particular question.
“Have strength, Tavin, your daddy, and me, we don”t mind if you have, you look so scared all of a sudden, like maybe you”re thinking that the river sounds really good right about now, but don”t. It”s something that you”ve buried, every time you dreamed about it, you pushed it down even more than your diaper love. Now, be strong Baby, answer the question honestly. Have you ever dreamed of sucking another boys” hot hard little peepee like a nice little baby soother, to make both him and you feel very good?” I whispered softly to him.
“Yes.” üniversiteli escort He barely whispered.
“And have you dreamed of having another boy suck your peepee?”
“Yes.”
“Have you ever dreamed of putting your tongues, fingers, or peepees inside each others bums?”
Again, he shook is head wildly no, begging me not to ask that question, but I repeated it even softer, telling him to be a strong baby boy. Finally he whispered out, “Yes.”
“And do you wanna kiss other boys, you know the gross looking kiss you sometimes see on TV?”
“Yes.”
“I”m so proud of you Baby. I know this is hard on you, and you really don”t want me asking you these questions, I can see how scared you are, but I promise you, we don”t think any differently of you. Next question, how much do you want the other boy to be diapered, just like you?”
“Lots.”
“And do you wanna peepee inside each others mouths and bums?”
“Yes.”
“How much.”
“Lots.”
“And do you wanna remove each others soggy baby diapers and suck each others diapers until they”re almost dry enough to put back on, but you wanna wear the other boys” sucked dry baby diaper instead, don”t you?”
His eyes were so wide at that, and he croaked out his answer, “Yes.”
“You”ve finally gone stone hard inside your soggy baby diaper, haven”t you?”
He reached down, and pressed his hand to his mega thick diaper, and nodded softly.
“Good. You know what the words gay or homosexual means, don”t you?”
“Yes.”
“And have you ever told yourself that you are?”
“No.”
“But you know you are, don”t you?”
He could not answer verbally, and this time his nod was so subtle it would have been easily missed had we not been watching for it.
“How long have you suspected you were?”
“I don”t know.”
“I want you to repeat after me. I am a beautiful gay baby boy diaper lover.”
“Please don”t make me say it.”
“Same as before, say it softly, and we”ll work up to it. We all know it”s the truth, even your daddy does, he”s seen it for a while, but then, I honestly think he is as well, though he never told us.”
“Really, he is?”
“Almost a hundred percent certain.” I said, and Tavin nodded his agreement.
“Maybe that”s why he hated my mom so much. He hates her even more than I do, says he wishes that he”d had the strength just to kill her.”
“More than likely, now, do it Baby, tell us that you”re a beautiful gay baby boy diaper lover.”
It took a while, and several verbal nudges, but finally he did, and when finally he did do so, it was almost silent again, and this time it was damn near twenty times of making him say it, that he finally broke, and said it with meaning, and when he did, he burst out crying. I picked him up, and held him tight, rubbing his back and his seriously diapered baby bum, telling him how proud I am of him. For easily half an hour, I had to hold James like this.
“There there, Baby, feel better now, feel like you finally know and understand who and what you are?”
“Yeah, I do, because I”m a gay baby boy diaper lover.”
“And when your daddy gets here to pick you up after dinner, I want you to go get loving hugs and kisses from your gay diaper loving daddy, and just as strongly as you did now, I want you to tell your daddy who and what you are, okay.”
“Okay.” He said serenely.
Tavin and I then told James who and what we are, and he was astonished.
“Wow, we”re really all the same, and you really think my daddy”s gay too, and I really think he”s as much a baby boy diaper lover as me too, that”s so awesome.” He said almost giddily.
“It sure is.” I said.
“Is that why you put your finger in my bum when you diapered me?” James asked curiously.
“Well, no, you needed to be lotioned and creamed up properly, but us gay baby boys certainly enjoy it more, and prefer larger fingers, or sometimes two or three or four, or sometimes even more.”
“Wow. Would it be wrong to wanna lotion and cream my baby bum hole at other times other than soggy baby bum changes?”
“Oh hell no, it”s awesome, especially if you getta watch really good movies on the computer or TV as you do so.” Tavin said.
“What kindsa movies?”
“Special ones made for just gay baby boy diaper lovers, of them doing all sortsa amazing and super naughty gay things together. I think I have a good sized flash drive somewhere, I could load some for you onto it, so that you can see what I mean tonight when you go to bed. Your daddy will know, and he won”t mind, but it”s not something that you wanna show off to him either, but if he asks, offer to share it with him, and then go to your bedroom, by yourself, and play.” Tavin said, but then hopped up to go and find the flash drive he knows he has somewhere.
Tavin”s computer is still on the table, so, when he got back, he booted it up, found the folder that he wants, since he has just saved them all to his computer, since it is faster and easier that way, and saved as many as he could, before it was full. I am certain he went in order of his favorites from the top down. Poor little James will likely be very friction burned by morning, and will probably sleep in so long that he will leak. I will definitely haveta whisper to his daddy what will happen tonight, so that he can make sure and diaper James up good and proper after he finishes, because I doubt he will be awake at all to do so for himself.
“Um, thanks.” James said as Tavin passed over the flash drive.
“You”re welcome. Go put it in your pants pocket, so that you don”t forget it. I guarantee you”ll truly love this gift.”
“Thanks.” He said, and then headed to find his pants that are still by the front door.
“That was a very nice thing you did for him Baby, but make sure and tell him that most of those are private and are not to be shared, other than with his daddy.”
“Thanks, and yeah, I will, sorry, never thought of that.”
“It”s okay Baby, he needs it.”
As soon as James made it back, Tavin did instill in him that none of those videos are to be shared at all, other than with his daddy if he wants them, because almost all of them are private, not to mention very personal. James agreed. As soon as that was taken care of, I challenged the boys to some board games, and out on the deck, we played board games until I had to go get dinner started. As soon as we finished eating, Tavin told James that it is now their turn to clean up, since it is only fair, and I let them do so as well.
We had had another baby bottle and a couple cups of tea with dinner, and even though we are all getting very soggy, not one of us are in danger of leaking, and truth be told, we may very well last until tomorrow morning. The diapers that the boys are wearing each have a capacity of about two litres, and then their doublers each have about half litre capacity, for a total of about five litres maximum capacity, mine are pretty damn close to double that, and really, there is no way I can fill them that much and not have them virtually explode once they get super full if I sit down on them. Usually when we quadruple diaper, we use our more regular diapers, but Tavin and I have enjoyed using our mega thick diapers to quadruple diaper a few times, and boy are they heavy once we are done.
After cleaning up, the boys and I played another game, and were almost done when James” dad arrived. I told the boys to stay as they were, and went and answered the door, of course I have my robe on.
“Hi there, come on in, you can come out to the deck and talk with James, he”s got some things to say, that he”s gonna be super embarrassed to tell you.”
“Good. I kinda hoped you”d make him admit certain things. I bet he”s so much more relaxed. How”d it go though?”
“Reasonably well, the first couple hours were tense, to say the least, but at least Tavin no longer wants to kill James, and he even gave James a very nice gift, so, don”t be surprised if James goes to bed early tonight, and you hear really good sounds coming from his bedroom. I”ll almost guarantee you that that little boy will be friction burned like crazy, and he”ll likely pass out fully, so be prepared to change him after he finally passes out.”
“Nice, what”d he give him, a dildo or something?”
“No, gay diaper love videos, he”s been warned not to share them, other than with you if that”s the sorta thing you”re into, which of course means you can”t share them either.”
“Fuck, not even I”ve watched any of those.”
“Then I hope you enjoy as well. Come on back.”
“Thanks.” He said, and I led the way.
“Hi Daddy.” James said, and went and gave his daddy hugs.
“Thanks Baby, and hello to you too. My you sure are thickly diapered, it feels nice, it feels like you”re wearing a pillow.”
“It feels even nicer to wear, and I think my pillow would be thinner.” He smiled brightly.
“Maybe.”
“Daddy, I wanna tell you something, I”m scared to do so, but I think you already know anyway, so, please don”t hate me if you don”t, but, I”m a gay baby boy diaper lover.” He said, and though it was not as strong as it could have been, he did a superb job, looking right into his daddy”s eyes.
“I”m so proud of you Baby, and I”m happy that you were finally able to admit it to me. Yes, I did know, I think I”ve known since you were four that you were gonna turn out gay, but there were signs even as young as two. I love you so much, that love”ll never change, no matter what, okay.”
“Thanks Daddy.” James said, and hugged his daddy tight.
“And thank you for finally admitting it to me.”
“So, Tavin gave James something to do for homework tonight, so he”ll need his computer, and some private time tonight before bed. When James is ready, he might even tell you about it, but I ask that you don”t snoop, if and when he”s ready, he”ll tell you.” I said, even though I already told him, I wanted James to hear that.
“Okay. No problem. Well Baby, we should get going, and even though there”s little to no chance that your clothes will fit over this mega thick diaper, I suppose we needta try.”
“I”d say I”d loan him Tavin”s clothes, but the solid little beast is nearly twice as big as Tavin is, so, if his clothes don”t fit, then I”ll just give him one of my shirts to wear as a nightgown.”
“Might just haveta do that, because there”s no way his pants will fit over this diaper, and I doubt very seriously that James wants to get out of it yet, and nor should he, really, it”s not full enough to remove, and such a wondrous diaper that”s not full yet absolutely shouldn”t be removed either.”
“Agreed. Let me go grab a shirt.” I said, and the headed to my bedroom.
It took only a few moments to find the shirt I wanted, it is small and tight on me, I had ordered it a size too small accidentally, but I still love it. It came from a diaper lovers website, so it is very babyish, and super cute, and James will probably look even cuter wearing it with such a glorious diaper bulge underneath. When I got back, I passed it to James, and he looked at the front, and broke out into a grin from how it looks, and then slipped it on. Of course it is still much too big on him, it goes to nearly his knees, but the neck hole is held up by his shoulders, and that is all that matters. I was right, though, because he does look super cute like that.
“Very nice. I wish this shirt fit me, but I accidentally ordered the wrong size. It”s so adorably cute and babyish, and says who I am more than anything, yet I do still wear it anyway from time to time, even though it”s too small. It looks really good on you, and I think it makes the perfect night gown for you, so, you”re welcome to keep it, a good little gay baby boy deserves to have at least one super cute and babyish piece of clothing.” I said.
“I have lots now, they”re awesome.” Tavin said.
“Wow, where”d you get this, it”s really cute and babyish, and I so wanna talk my daddy into buying more.” James smiled brightly.
“Hell, I want the website so I can buy some of my own as well.” His dad said.
“You mean it?” James asked happily.
“Oh hell yeah, you”re already a very stunningly handsome young man, but that shirt makes you look like a beautiful baby boy, and with that mega thick diaper bulge showing, it makes it even better.”
And I can see just how hot it is making daddy, because he is getting very hard for his beautiful little boy. Me thinks daddy and baby will be losing their gay baby virginity together soon.
“Thanks.” He said to his daddy, and then turned to us. “And thank you guys for today, I think you were both right, I think this is exactly what I needed.” He said, and then came and gave me a hug, and then went to Tavin, stuck out his hand to shake, but instead of shaking it, Tavin pulled James to him, and hugged him.
“Thanks.” James whispered after the hug broke.
I am not sure who was more shocked, me, Tavin, or James. I honestly did not think Tavin had it in him yet to fully forgive James, but, the look of shock on even Tavin”s face as he realized what he had done, and even what it means, tells me that it was not intended.
“This doesn”t mean we”re friends.” Tavin said, trying to sound gruff, but he ruined it by actually smiling.
“No, course not.” James said, and then hugged Tavin.
“Okay, come on Baby, let”s get you home.”
James and his dad put James” clothes in a grocery bag I passed him, and then they were gone. As soon as they were, I picked Tavin up, and hugged him tightly.
“That was a very nice thing you did for him. I didn”t truly believe that you could forgive him in just the one day, but that hug said you do, and I want you to know how proud I am of you.”
“I didn”t mean to do it, my head still wantsta fight, but my heart says to forgive, I guess it won, because yeah, I think I do. I hope he”s gonna be okay, it”d be a shame if he dies.”
“Same.”
“So, you saw his daddy”s looks too, didn”t you, they”re so totally gonna fuck each other, and soon. Hopefully not before we make sweet gay baby diaper love to each other though.”
“Yeah, I saw it too, and as much as I”d like to do so as well, you”re not quite ready yet.”
“I know, but I”m close. Even though we”re so gloriously mega diapered, I really do needta cum, and I”d really liketa feel you slip more into me tonight please, and I wanna start sucking each other as well, so, take me to bed, and make me feel as good as you always do.”
“Okay Baby.”